An Annoying Duality

One of my favorite things in this world is to go out and watch the baseball game at the bar. I don't really care who's playing (though a Red Sox or a Yankees game is ideal). All I want to see is a well played game. Pitchers dual? Suits me just fine. I can put my newfangled information that I gleam from Will Carol to use. Big time hitting match up? No worries I am certain Will Carol's colleges can shed some light on something I hadn't noticed before, or mayhaps Rob Neyer, Keith Law, Peter Gammons, or Jonah Keri (he does work for both ESPN and Baseball Prospects) will offer me up a new way to watch the game I love. Oh, and how can we forget the all might Buster Olney. The point is this, I LOVE BASEBALL. I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about it, reading about it, and talking about it to ANY of my friends who will listen. I don't even care if they like baseball.

Now here is where the duality sets in. If I do not know you, please for the love all that is holy and right in this world don't talk to me while I am watching the game. If you don't have anything to bring to the table, that's fine. Please just act as if you have been struck dumb. I am not looking for you to be an expert on the game (lord knows I am not), but please do not detract from my enjoyment of the game. Things that I would prefer that you not do.

1) Tell me about how you love getting stoned. If Roger Clemens is going for his 350 win, I promise you that I find that infinitely more interesting then your theories on where to get good weed. Really it's great that you like the herb, but I really couldn't care less.

2) Trying to convince me why everyone needs a permit to carry a hand gun, and how we should adopt ANY law strongly endorsed by Texas. In fact, can we make a new rule that says, "If Texas thinks it's a good idea, we are going to do the opposite." Can we get that put on the books somewhere please?

3) Please feel free not to tell me about how you just don't like baseball and think it's slow paced and various other things along this line of thinking. I DON"T CARE. Did I ask how you felt about the game? Nopah, can't say that I did.

The point is thus, please I beg you, if you don't have something to offer that will in some way increase my enjoyment of the game, "don't speak."