A small bit of thievery

I have been meaning to write. I promise...see I just have not had much to say that would be positive. Sure I could bitch about love, life, and a lack of a love life, but what fun is that? Instead I shall steal something from my friend Heather. She poses question that she refers to as "Weekly survey for the thinking class." I like the questions for the most part, so here we go.

1. What book, comic or magazine would you like to live inside?
I have to go with Dune here. However, I would want to be a descendant of Usul. I want the cool powers and shit. However I do not wish to go insane or become a giant slug. These are the rules.

2. List a few things you can buy for less than a dollar that make you happy.
So I don't really have any of these. This means one of two things. Either A, I am very materialistic or B the dollar simple does not have the buying power it once did. I would say its a healthy mix of the two. See what I did there, I made it sound like it was an either or situation, and then BAM I changed it to a combination. Damn I am crafty...

3. Write an obituary for any current cultural reference you want. (example: the death of lower back tattoos, Borat catchphrases, backwards ball caps, etc.)

On Thursday May 31st, the Pastel Polo Shirt with the collar "Popped" died of shame. It was a long time coming said the family of Pastel "Popped" Polo shirt. The family was not quite ready for this passing to occur. Many women are now unsure as to what to do. The Pastel "Popped"Polo Shirt served as either a mating call or a sign to avoid. Most girls heard the sounds, "DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER!", every time one was near. This will make bars a far far more dangerous place for women. Cynical men everywhere will have a harder time picking out their targets to mock. Pastel "Popped" Polo Shirt, you will be missed.

4. Is it hypocritical that every Democrat candidate took a private jet to the debate, instead of the better-for-the-environment traveling methods like carpooling, flying commercial, or finding a way to reduce their environmental impact?

Not so much since, these people may or may not even like one another. Plus, there is no telling what their schedules are like before or after the event. It would be way to hard for them to coordinate all of that.

5. What is a modern food marvel that offends you the most (examples: GO-gurt, blue ketchup)

Whatever that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar stuff is. I was once reduced to eating it on tour b/c I was so desperate for anything other then a peanut butter sandwich. It was bad times.

6. If you had a title in life, like most people have a title at work on their business cards, what would your title be?

Reluctant yet enthusiastic lush.

7. Do you believe the justice system works?

Not even a tiny bit.

8. What are the reasons you would never be able to be P.O.T.U.S.?

Besides the fact that I have no concept of how most of the things the president is suppose to do work, I have far to many horrible things in my past to even remotely consider this.

9. Best advice you have received in the year 2007 and where did it come from?
Someone suggested I pick up JJ Hardy in one of my fantasy baseball leagues. That has been panning out rather well.

10. What large corporation would you not mind endorsing in your life?

Well, I work for FedEx so I suppose it should be them.